nintendontdodrugs:

lukehemmign:

whitebeltwriter:

dual-destininies:

derples:

dual-destininies:

tf2-fandomstuck:

tiniestshorts:

Bread knife

The french have grown more powerful. 

Hold it!

Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.

Notice anything strange about the bread?

I didn’t either. That’s because…

…no cuts were made there in the first place!

The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

How, you ask? Look to the second photo.

While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.

Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?

The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?

This illustration explains it all.

While I am… ahem, not the best artist…

(Didn’t I go to art school?)

The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…

The witness was making space to put the knife’s handle!

Objection

Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.

if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.

Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.

Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.

And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.

It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.

Edgeworth, you’re asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not “is there bread like that…”

You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”

Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.

Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.

Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.

In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!

Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.

But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.

Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.

I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.

The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

The defense has an explanation for this positioning.

The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!

what the actual fuck tumblr

y’all need to leave the house more often.

(Source: tiniestcostume)

skysignal:

Went to see The Legend Ends today, and it was EPIC. The film was so well-made that it’s hard to pick which parts I liked the most. Was it when Kenshin battled his shishou for the ougi? Was it when Kenshin fought with Aoshi? Was it the Soujirou fight? All in all, I was really satisfied with it. Otomo-san had done the series justice and made it so realistic. I think the highlights for me are the moments with Hiko Seijuurou in his mountain home, the Aoshi fight, the match with Soujirou (Kenshin targeting his fast legs made a whole lot of sense), the final showdown with Shishio (who is a bakemono, by the way), the Amakakeru ryuu no hirameki, and Sano’s never-give-up spirit. Watching this movie was so bittersweet as well, since it’s the final one, and there’s no telling if Otomo would be amenable to making more—the Jinchuu arc perhaps? Oh, well. One can only hope.

ryuukiba:

engagedbbw:

joodleeatsrainbows:

dorkinthefreakkingdom:

kittiecupcakes:

the-lizard-hunter-sociopath:

And my personal favorite:

Popcorn guy is my favorite.

okay seriously in the extended pictures, WHAT THE FUCK IS THE FAMILY COMPLAINING ABOUT WITH THE PIZZA ON THE TABLE? LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT

I like the last one “Oh my god, I’m on fire? Better jump out a fucking window then.

I’ve said it 100 times, I FUCKING LOVE INFOMERCIAL PEOPLE SO MUCH!!

The lady pouring soda on the cup was trying to fail so hard and yet barely splashed or made a mess at all XDDD

comedycentral:

Key & Peele have some tips for attending a gay wedding in this new sketch from the Season Four premiere, airing tonight after South Park.